Monday, June 30, 2014

Other than, he's looking for reasons to fit suicide -- its a good interview!

Bitter breakfast

This morning early enough I needed to dash to Harrisonburg to get supplies so I can hole-up during this upcoming heat assault!  As I got closer to going, I realized I was hungry and --

-- what better place to grab something quick, than the Burger King drive-thru, where my friend works???  My friend from the chronic illness group, who THEN invited me to her church's home-based Bible study ... that friend :)

Or so I thought.

This is a big, recurring theme in my life:  I think someone's my friend, more than they know they're my friend.

Back to our story here, folks .....

I could tell from our exchange through the drive-up's mike that my friend wasn't quite - herself ("Coffee?"   "No, I said Coke, please.  Coca-Cola!")  and was wondering what was up with that???  .... So I get to the window and "hey!"  "hi!  you look well!  your color is so much better!" I grinned at my FRIEND who was having a pacemaker implant on May 5th - I marked it on my calender to remember to pray and everything --

Well, she shows me the scar and says - oh yeah the doc moved it up so the surgery was just two weeks ago now .... Now, right at that moment, I want to know WHY he postponed a surgery that she needed a month before May 5th, to almost another whole month!  and it doesn't quite hit me yet, as we're having this conversation, because I'm not only wondering about that, I'm seeing why my friend is still a little - out of it - not quite as sharp --

she knows where I live, and my phone number, yet I never heard of this surgery change date

What does start happening, tho, is that - before I can transition the conversation to her new hairstyle and her new set of wheels in the parking lot - she goes over to the counter and - she's not just helping the new kid on the register:  she gets involved in this longwinded conversation with a customer there.  And that's when my stomach drops, and I feel like I'm in Maine again:  locals are loved so much more than the newcomers, and you can visibly see that ....

And   yeahhh, my stomach drops   and I can feel an impending panic attack coming on, from pushing down my emotions, but I'm staring off at the mountains in front of me, trying very hard not to lose it at the drive-up and so that's how I don't catch what's happening, until it does --

The kid on the counter comes over to give me my order, because she's too busy flapping her gums to do so, let alone so much as give me a good-bye, a hand wave, a promise of an update, anything at all 

It didn't take too long to get on to the highway, where I had a bitter breakfast:  an egg & cheese sandwich, with tears of anger, and a COCA-COLA to wash it down

I really wanted to go home and hide, but I had to get supplies .... and that was tough:  I just didn't want to be around people; didn't want to even remotely give a smile why should I, for pity's sakes?! it might just lead to yet another round of what just happened!!!

Home now (a-course!), recovering (?) from my bitter breakfast ..............

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Angel Collie is a young transgender Christian on a mission of love

Angel Collie is a young transgender Christian on a mission of love

Fathers and daughters

Fathers and daughters

From Nigeria - to my hometown in NJ - to --- Harvard!

US Muslim girl among “the 50 smartest teenagers in the world”

From NJ ... to soldier ... to cowboy ... to ---

Texas cowboy finds Islam

The Fault in Our Stars - John Green

Why would I share this ...???

Hundreds Honor Life of Teen Missionary Taellor Stearns -

This was an amazing kid! who died in a totally random and freak occurrance:  the hammock she was in, was tied to a rotted tree - which snapped:  the fall killed her (I'm thinking '1000 Ways to Die' ...)

Her life ALONE is incredible! but what prompted me to share this was a story in the Trenton, NJ Times, about gunfight breaking out at a funeral for a teenager killed by - gunfire!  I'm reading that incredible story, and <nudge, wink, wink> gotta love the Trenton Times! they're talking about how all the kids turned out in his favorite COLORS .. .I get it - gunfire, COLORS - oh he's a dammed banger!

Much, much more uplifting and inspiring is Taellor Stearns, and where her heart was - altho, if you follow her example - mebbe stay outta the hammock  ;-

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Point Pleasant Beach NJ

Happy 4th Birthday to a Daughter I Don't Know... My Surrogacy Journey

Happy 4th Birthday to a Daughter I Don't Know... My Surrogacy Journey

What we should hear on mainstream news (instead of about K and 'Beater' Brown)

Borderland Beat: Coahuila's Clandestine Grave Body Count Rises to 5...:   The remains of at least 500 people have been found in just 10 days in which an operation started searching for missing peop...

Did you take every opportunity??? (The poem is excellent, too!)

Chloe Yelena Miller: Writing Advice from Aunt Dora: Take Every Opportun...: Aunt Dora giving a speech at her 100th birthday party  (which she planned herself) A student said she wrote a personal story in...

The 100 questions no one asks, tag

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?  Open ... because when I had CoCo, she liked to sleep in the closet (she had shyness & anxiety issues) ... and now, the cats do, too!  
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?  Of course!  Thats why they're there!  (They're also good for donations to places like women's shelters.)
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?  OUT.  I can't STAND! tucked sheets!
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?  No
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?  I have, in the past, and I still have some cute ones (someplace)
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?  Nooo ... I tend to collect the books they come in and forget to use them ;-
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?  Eeek!  Really?!  
8:Do you have freckles?  See 'stolen street sign'
9:Do you always smile for pictures?  Hmmm ... I have to look ;)
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?  IGNORANCE - that, and nose picking (which is like Ignorance 101.A)
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?  See 'stolen street sign'
12:Have you ever peed in the woods?  Yes!
13:What about pooped in the woods?  Eeek!  No!
14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?  Does being unsteady on your feet count ;-
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?  Gross - noooo
16:How many people have you slept with this week?  As my mother used to say - big fat goose egg!
17:What size is your bed?  Queen
18:What is your Song of the week?  I don't have one this week (is there like a place I can to apply for one?!)
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?  Very rarely
20:Do you still watch cartoons?  A very occasional Scooby-Doo
21:Whats your least favorite movie?  Jackass
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?  In my heart
23:What do you drink with dinner?  Coffee or water
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Don't eat these
25:What is your favorite food?  Pasta's!
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?  Several 50s horror movies - and I have, actually!  Them!  The Creature from the Black Lagoon  
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?  I don't recall now ...
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?  Gaad, yes
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?  Nooo
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?  Today :)
31:Can you change the oil on a car?  Nooo - I'm too much a girl ;)
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?  Nooo - almost, but ...
33:Ever ran out of gas?  Oh yes and isn't that a story!  A memorial gas can and everything!
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?  Italian
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?  French toast!
36:What is your usual bedtime?  When I'm tired!
37:Are you lazy?  NO, and I HATE, HATE, DESPISE! that word!!!
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?  My mom made me a gypsy costume one year ... 
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?  Rabbit
40:How many languages can you speak?  One
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?  Honey, I have issues, not subscriptions!  ;)
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?  What about wooden blocks?!
43:Are you stubborn?  No way!  ;)
44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?  That's a choice?!  I don't participate in either.
45:Ever watch soap operas? Oh yes
46:Are you afraid of heights?  Oh yes
47:Do you sing in the car?  Oh yes
48:Do you sing in the shower?  Used to
49:Do you dance in the car?  Oh no
50:Ever used a gun? OH NO!
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?  2003
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? Oh no
53:Is Christmas stressful? Emotionally draining
54:Ever eat a pierogi?  LOVE THEM!
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?  Ummm ...
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?  Teacher & writer
57:Do you believe in ghosts?  Who, boo  ;)
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Surely
59:Take a vitamin daily?  Should!
60:Wear slippers?  Not presently
61:Wear a bath robe?  Not presently
62:What do you wear to bed?  Loose, comfy sweats & tee shirts
63:First concert?  Styx
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?  Target - TONS of handicapped parking :)
65:Nike or Adidas?  See 'Leno or Letterman' question ...
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?  Frito's
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?  peanuts
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?  No
69:Ever take dance lessons?  Gaad yes 
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?  Breathing ...
71:Can you curl your tongue?  Yeahhh
72:Ever won a spelling bee?  No
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?  Oh sure
74:Own any record albums?  In storage
75:Own a record player? No -should!
76:Regularly burn incense?  No, but my dear friend Hil does!
77:Ever been in love?  Honey, if I'm this old and haven't been in love ... that's too sad for words!
78:Who would you like to see in concert?  Trace Adkins!
79:What was the last concert you saw?  Voluntarily?  I'm not kidding - there was a forced march concert - long story 
80:Hot tea or cold tea?  Hot
81:Tea or coffee?  COFFEE!
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?  Neither
83:Can you swim well?  Yes
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes
85:Are you patient?  C'mon, what kind of question is THIS   ;)
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?  Depends ...
87:Ever won a contest?  Yes
88:Ever have plastic surgery?  Nooo
89:Which are better black or green olives?  Don't participate in either ... reminds me of my dear, late friend, Yolanda
90:Can you knit or crochet?  I used to be able to crochet!
91:Best room for a fireplace?  Living
92:Do you want to get married?  Hah, sure
93:If married, how long have you been married? N/A
94:Who was your HS crush?  I ain't tellin', or I won't be gellin'  ;)
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?  At my age?!
96:Do you have kids?  Yeahhh
97:Do you want kids?
98:Whats your favorite color?  PURPLE!
99:Do you miss anyone right now?  Gaaad  Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Gratitude mid-morning, Weds, June 25th because

Yesterday (late yesterday) I recv'd news that a friend has suffered a terrible family tragedy ... and I wept (and have prayed, and ask y'all reading this, to please pray for Lori's family, as well + ) ... that, in combination with watching a Youtuber I especially like, who talked about being very grateful for everyday things that our Creator has given us, reminded me that there are many things to be thankful to the God of my understanding for!!!  At that moment, I mentally enumerated my two beloved animals, especially, in addition to some other items ... and I also figured I should list more in my blog, so, here goes --

Juice bottles that I can actually open without a struggle

Money in my hand to go to the store with...and the physical ability to walk into that store, in addition to living in a country where I don't need some male relative, which I do not have, to be able to walk into said store!

Books to read

The perfect way that Delilah lay on top of me last night, so that Mommy could still breathe ;)


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Gratitude f@ 6 a.m. Tues June 24th

I know enough to have gratitude.

My eyes can see ... and my ears can hear!  And my mind works (sort of ...) ;)

Two black cats that love me <3

A seemingly endless amount of videos is available to me online :)

I have this blog!

I finally figured out what that unsteady gait business is all about ... I always feel better when I can name something! ... And I don't have AIDS; and I don't have cancer; so for what I do have, when I look at it from that perspective, yes, I am grateful!!!

I have food (for both myself and for the above-mentioned cats!).

I can take a shower because I have running water and its part of my apartment, that I don't have to share with anyone! .... And yes I need to be grateful for this apartment, too, with all its maint. issues! .... And I do have a bed to sleep in (see above-mentioned cats ....)  !  ....And AIR CONDITIONING!!!  ... & plenty of things to read :)

Saturday, June 21, 2014


a million dresses | UK Fashion and Lifestyle Blog: Kitchen Refresh: We have finally had a new floor fitted in our kitchen and I am so, so happy with it!  We changed the flooring in every single room apart fro...

Lilacs & Cats: Napping Away The Day

Lilacs & Cats: Napping Away The Day: I saw this and just had to share. Too cute !!! It's a sunny Thursday. The wind is slight. The dogs are napping. Meredith Ann is...

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Muse Fondue: The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Muse Fondue: The First Day of the Rest of My Life: I'm not going to give you some saccharine phrases about attitude or inspirational photos of a tropical beach at sunset and a smug, but p...

Monday, June 16, 2014

Lighthouse Depot & Feeling Really Good!

In a Google search earlier this afternoon, I was stunned to learn that the Lighthouse Depot, of Wells, Maine, THE lighthouse superstore w/ an equally wonderful catalog, closed in 2012 after 22 years in operation - economics, they said ...

I wept.

In fact, my entire afternoon shifted radically ... I had wispy thoughts of loss - i.e. that the older I happen to get, the more people, places, even virtues, disappear ... trying to get a hold of myself (as the Brits say), I thought back to the first time I ever visited such a place, and what its closure was stirring up within me --

I was feeling really good!  I had my beloved father; I had a man I was about to marry that I loved and I believed in because - here comes the hindsight - I didn't know any better; I even liked the state of Maine (imagine that!)!!!  I was feeling really good! not because there was a cure for my incurable illness - no!  I was feeling really good because my world looked like it had a million possibilities opening up in front of it, from lobstah to lupines ... to a bright shiny future that I just knew would have things happening I couldn't even name at that moment!  And I really felt, in the deepest part of my soul, that I was visible - that I mattered, and, that what I did, that mattered, too.

Remembering such a rebirth time as that - and knowing as sure as I know the name on my drivers license, that I don't have that anymore -- well, that's enough to make a person mourn --

For the Lighthouse Depot & every past item of remembering.

Careful what you say, alrightie, now?!

Forest Fire Song Lyrics | Josh Wilson Lyrics | Christian Music Song Lyrics, Christian Music |

Friday, June 13, 2014

Saurly Yours: Karen Dinsfriend

Saurly Yours: Karen Dinsfriend: When I was young, my family and honorary aunt and uncle were involved in attempting to help rehabilitate women from prison. One of the women...

6-Year-Old Girl Reunited With Dog After Social Media Search - Pet360 Pet Parenting Simplified

6-Year-Old Girl Reunited With Dog After Social Media Search - Pet360 Pet Parenting Simplified

Birthday in-print

A dear friend $ent me a birthday present in a card! ... Who knew it would be such an outrageou$ $um merely to see a movie?!! ... That said, it also gave me two delicious bags of fresh coffee! - which I needed & so I went into Barnes & Noble for, ALSO naturally :)  looking for a 'birthday in-print' ... and what I purchased was "The Soul/Body Connection: Your 2014 Guide to Spirituality & Health".  What intrigued me were there 6 Paths to the Sacred:

Get Grounded.
Revisit sacred texts.
The joys of the  body.
Foods of the Gods
A life of abundance
Tools for spiritual leadership

I have not yet sat down & read it, BUT - that said - I have noticed there '10 Vows for Daily Living', adapted by Thich Nhat Hanh & Rabbi Rami Shapiro ... I'm sure you shall notice alignment to at least one other sacred text (which, of course, is one of the paths to the sacred!):

God is the source of liberation.
God cannot be named.
God cannot be owned.
Remember the Sabbath.
Honor your parents.
Do not murder.
Avoid sexual misconduct.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

My awful guilt that I survived Loughinisland: UVF massacre victim Colm breaks silence as anniversary looms

My awful guilt that I survived Loughinisland: UVF massacre victim Colm breaks silence as anniversary looms

The following article, that you can click on at the bottom, continues with Colm's personal writings, which begin with a vivid word picture:  "The shiny gold image of a packet of Benson & Hedges cigarettes is as clear in my mind as if I were holding the box in my hand."

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Happy! Unhappy!

Illinois Supreme Court justice weds gay couples -, NewsCenter17, StormCenter17, Central Illinois News-

The happy! news in here (of course!) is that this legally-sanctioned wedding took place :)

The unhappy! news in here is this sentence:  "Burke is a Roman Catholic but says she doesn't feel her faith "interferes" with her judicial responsibilities."

Our faith should ALWAYS interfere with whatever so-called responsibilities we have - always, always!!!  .... I say that with this thought in mind:  that faith, and how you view God, and how you view the world, should be a matter of your own faith journey ... therefore ... if you eschew the 'clobber passages' & say God is love, then (of course!) this is happy news!!! 

When I read this sentence about Justice Anne Burke, however, it ruminates me to a place of thinking various things - like -

(a)  is she baiting her Bishop?  (yeahhh, who is her Bishop, her priest, et al, & what do they think of her statement here?!)

(b) does she often have dictates that she smiles her way past & just does her own thing???  does she do this with the law???  where else in her life does this extrapolate???

(c)  or does she simply have a Kennedy complex, and is ghosting our former President ???

Reminds me of CoCo sneaking coffee out of my cuppa ;)

Peanuts Comic Strip on

the soubrette brunette: Know Your Type(writer): an Easter outfit post

the soubrette brunette: Know Your Type(writer): an Easter outfit post: Happy Easter to those who celebrate, and happy Sunday to everyone else!  As I mentioned earlier, my family is Jewish, but we do celebrate t...

Honeymoon Fashions In Bermuda (1949)

Friday, June 6, 2014

Sanibel Island 2014

About Hawaii ...


I recently read the book "Soul Surfer" and as much as I was entranced by her family & her faith, I was also in awe! of the lifestyle she grew up in!!!  Here's another look at living in Hawaii, this via video ... I also have someone I'm linked to on a social media page, an old friend, who now lives in Hawaii ....

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Thriving Anyway: Santa Clause And The Story Of Sybil

Thriving Anyway: Santa Clause And The Story Of Sybil: DISCLAIMER: This is a trigger free post. HOWEVER, this post discusses the topic of Dissociative Identity Disorder. Some people choose not to...

Are you a victim? Or a warrior?

Thriving Anyway: The Admission of Omission: Sort of seems to be a contradictory of terms, right? I was admitted for a short inpatient stay from April 2-7. Since we went though some o...

Over a Million in Medical Debt? Disability? Life with a Chronic Illness.

Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, and accidents. (Part 2)

Dating with Crohn's, Colitis, and an Ostomy

Just like a baby: the food stamp diet

Nearly 32 years ago now, I was a 150-ish pd woman, giving a natural birth to an 8 lb, 8 oz baby, who was 21-22 inches long ... who came out fine :)  Thank you God :)  The force of trying to birth her, however, resulted in my first hemorroid in my life, and - boy! was that ever uncomfortable ;-

A couple of nights ago now, I went to make noodles and butter ... and the noodles I had were passed along to me from a friend who didn't want them in her food pantry box ... hey, I'll always take noodles, I smiled!

Then, I smiled.

These noodles hit me like nobody's business ... yeahhh, my original dx is IBS, but almost never do I get constipated - I have that other problem --

that is, until I ate the noodles that the supermarket has decided are good enough for poor people.

The strain on my body has resulted in the 2d hemorroid in my life - and thinking of the first time I popped a vein in that area, I have a good idea of just what these dammed noodles did to me ;-

I'm uncomfortable & limping (if you ask, I'll tell you it's my back ... which is not really a lie) ... worse, my appetite is off, my stomach is upset ... and, hey, I don't have a baby to show for my troubles, do I?!

In all seriousness, I have this to say:

My body met the food stamp diet, and the food stamp diet won and popped out a huge prisoner, besides

Rylands story

DIY: Comfort Box!

Get Ready With Me (It's Not So Easy!)

Sunday, June 1, 2014

#2 Regina Britt: "When in doubt, just take the next small step."

I'm in doubt whether I can afford to stay in this apartment another year ... but ... I did take the next small step (which actually turned out to be a big step, one that stole what little energy & breath I had but!  I love it!!!) :  I coordinated almost all of the down the shore related things that hang on the wall (that I had scattered around) on one wall :)  Its actually very close to where I'm seated right now (in my "Keep Calm Wear Purple!" tee from The Purple Store :)  ), because it's the wall directly behind this desk.  It just makes me feel more organized, in general, and very happy to look at, too !

Wheelingalong24: Me & My M.E.

Wheelingalong24: Me & My M.E.:   May is M.E. awareness month (today is actually M.E. awareness day) so I thought I'd actually do a post about my M.E.... I very r...