Wednesday, March 4, 2015

While I still have internet ... a free-form piece ....

This is something that just spilled out of my pen just now ... I want to preface this by saying what I wrote @ the bottom :  This is me.  This is my constant depression and self-anger.  If I could afford my medication, it would make me less irritable - more focused - maybe more able to complete tasks - but the sadness & overwhelming longing for my past, to relive RIGHTLY, would still be present.

I want to banish all the dark
   all the regrets -- all the dammed blown
-- Instead --
        I want to be a lovely young woman
           in perhaps that sleeveless lace dress w/ sandals
                with parents and a home and good grades!
                 living squarely
                              with the whole future, all of life, in
                               front of me
I want to round that corner
            and recreate my life - no
   live my life
   the way it should have! been lived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!