I actually looked at alot of his videos. What was intriguing me was this: here was this 22 year old kid, using music in his videos that was from my day! that would have been used in 1981 to background teen angst and social isolation .... so, I continued to click on news articles, and
There was one news source (the L.A. Times, maybe?) that printed the whole of his so-called manifesto ... and so I sat here, and I read all of it - well into the early morning hours, yes, well into when my Delilah started scratching me to go to bed, Mom! ...
Actually, it was his autobiography.
As perceptive & insightful as Elliot was - he was also clueless.
It was a fascinating read ; towards the end - when he started talking about his Day of Retribution, and planning it out - it was like watching a car accident happen - like watching someone open a bottle of soda that you knew was shook-up and was going to spray you down ....
Yes, it was horrifying ... and as hard to read as things about abortion, or Nazi's, or sex traffic.
Which was why I'm so grateful I have my computer back online!!!
Because this computer is more than being about the ability to watch tv shows, and buy shoes for my friend Kevin who has an odd size foot to fit ... its about my connection to the world - no, more than that - its about my ability to comprehend, to try to make sense of things that happened, that are insensible to my mind ...
And I knew that had helped me, when I was able to sit down this mid-afternoon-into-evening, and write a fictional story based on this event - which is how I process --
and which happened far faster than it would have, had I been computerless.
LET'S REMEMBER ALL THE VICTIMS, INCLUDING THE RELATIVES OF ELLIOT RODGERS, AND HIS FRIENDS, NAMED IN HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY, WHO TRIED TO STICK BY HIM UNTIL HE GOT TOO DISTURBED FOR THEM TO HANDLE ... GOD BLESS US ALL
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