I was looking at a catalog and had to chuckle at what a woman's t-shirt for sale, stated --
Of course they're fake - the real ones tried to kill me!
I was thinking of this with everything I've been going through w/ my healthcare provider, the only brand within 50-60 miles, so - not really giving a consumer too much of another choice! Found them without any type of medical generosity towards the patient without prescription coverage, and its definitely a for-profit healthcare system! where they nag you senseless with phone calls to get their pound of flesh -- all that said, I was very happy with my N.P., so the greater entity was - tolerable. Until, that is --
I only found out she had left the practice when I called to make an appointment. God bless her, what she's doing to try to hold on to the house she has here, but NOT to work for this conglomerate --
-- about why I called --
I have Irritable Bowel. Its completely stress-related, not diet-related, when it goes into overdrive, that is ... Mine began to flare in late April, and I realized "oh ... Mother's Day yeahhh" so I hunkered down to wait it out ... and ... it didn't stop. It. Did. Not. Stop. It got to where food was completely unappealing, because I knew it would only cause spasms, pain, and violent sickness. And so, post Mothers Day but still May, I called --
Thats when I learned that my N.P. had left the practice. Ok - whom do I have now?!
The answer was that I didn't have anyone at all, actually. I was told by a nurse to go 16 miles one direction to the emergency room ... which I decided against - not only end of the month and less travel money to drive with, but because I knew it would be a ridiculous waste of time, with them now having additional reasons to bill me, for all the elaborate testing that I knew would tell them, what I already knew - oh, its stress-related (duh ....) .... It took me a bit longer to realize that now leaves me with NO DOCTOR AT ALL, but thats a whole other post - back to this one ---
Towards the end of the week of June 4th - yes, still violently sick - I decided to AGAIN look upon the IBS boards (written by people who actually have this illness), to see if there was anything else I could do for this, that I hadn't thought about - probiotics, yes, I know, I need to start taking them again ... and then, once again, I bunked into mention of diverticulitis (die-vur-tik-yoo-LIE-tis), which is an infection in that part of the body ... Hmmm. I had that, the winter that the biggest light of my life ever, was extinguished, and it was a horrific experience, but one that must be treated immediately, with antibiotics, as it is an INFECTION: without antibiotics, you can have a perforated bowel, which is an extremely serious condition! Grace Slick of the Jefferson Starship nearly died from it.
I dug in the back of my catch-all drawer and did find a bottle of unfinished antibiotics. I decided to start taking them the weekend before my birthday - that way, if I had to talk to a doctor, I had a specific start date I could remember! And, if it didn't make a bit of difference - well, it was only two days worth of antibiotics - I could hear my mother's voice in my head - "Its not gonna kill ya!" --
It immediately began making a significant difference, this gift of old antibiotics - to where I can see visible results; I can see my body trying to correct and heal itself, even tho it is slightly off-kilter still ...
It was midweek (of this week) that the whole horrible ugly reality began to dawn on me. It was worse than not having a doctor - it was worse than being harangued by phone calls --
essentially, it was as if they were trying to kill me, by not having someone at least see me locally, assess me - instead, giving me a brush-off over the phone via the nurse by some doctor I've never met in my entire life, without a concern in the world of how I was going to cross that geographical distance ----
The writing has been on the wall, a long time now, that God is telling me to MOVE ON - MOVE FORWARD, JEAN! THIS IS NOT YOUR PLACE NOW! .... I get overwhelmed and scared and have more questions than answers, so - no, no, that hasn't happened ... and ... as God does! GOD SPEAKS MORE AND MORE INSISTENTLY (its Biblical - I recommend you start with the Old Testament, with passages concerning Jonah and how he wound-up in the belly of the whale, considering we're talking about tummies! --) --
They tried to kill me, in short (dramatic! but true!) order. They won't assign me a doctor, and as someone with chronic illnesses (in addition to Social In-Security needing regular updates!), that's untenable ... essentially, like going without decent air, or "Babe" Didrikson without a level athletic playing field .....
But - how?! where?!!! -- LORD, I'm waiting on your speaking to the spirit ... or email, if you choose to be so modern ;)