Tuesday, May 23, 2017

And you say - what is this, now?! (incredulously-voiced, eyebrows raised, ? eyes)

I will preface this to say that one, for-profit, healthcare system swallowing///forcing out any other 'brand' for 60+ miles, is not a whimsical, lighthearted situation for the patient on the receiving end! - for too many reasons than I can even type in ;- But what made me hold on and not literally, physically drive myself to exhaustion just to get any type of healthcare, was my specific provider, Donna ... She listened.  She cared.  We have a shorthand that happens between close people. And ... she had a problem w/ this healthcare system, too, but - bought the house, her & the hubs liked the area, this was her field - whaddya gonna do?!

Whenever I have an IBS flare, it almost always begins with some type of extraordinary stress - the whole situation with a certain mobster's girlfriend in the hit show "The Sopranos" tells it extremely accurately!  And so, when a flare hit me, end of April - with Mother's Day lurking around the corner to kick in my heart some more - I figured well that's to be expected, after all ... and as soon as that dammed 'holiday' blows the calendar ....

Except that's not at all what happened - it has continued onwards, to the point that I can't even stand myself in my unwashed, musty clothes I'm wearing around the house, because I am too depleted to make it to the laundromat and be held hostage ... and - speaking of such a term - yeahhh.  I'm being held hostage by this dammed IBS flare that won't stop!  It has already derailed and altered things, things even far more important than feeding quarters into slots ... and so earlier today, I decided to adult myself, and call Donna - well - ok: the way the system works is you get the nurse, and you leave a detailed message, and they call you back --

And that's exactly how it did work, with the recorded message naming all three providers for this one particular nurse, including the full name of Donna, my medical blessing .....

When the nurse calls back, she delivers such amazingly bad news, that - when I get off the phone with her - I actually have to go in the other room, cry, hug cats and dollys ... it seems that Donna has figured out a way to stay in her field AND her house AND get out of this system, too: she's putting in an extraordinarily long commute, to work with the vets.  God love her!  I love the vets!  I support the vets! --

-- one question, tho:  who's going to support me?!

... so the nurse takes all my info down ... and after I try to do a few little things online again, I realize that yeahhh I need to go lay down again. The cats and the dollys and all of that, and hugging my sore tummy, too .... and as I'm laying there, the phone rings.  DO YOU KNOW THAT - 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 DURING THE DAY WHEN MY PHONE RINGS - IT'S NOT A BUDDY OF MINE: ITS THERE FOR-PROFIT HEALTHCARE SYSTEM, WANTING THERE POUND OF FLESH FROM A PERSON ON A FIXED INCOME, WHICH GAULS ME & REMINDS ME OF A CERTAIN SCRIPTURE VERSE - HEHEHE, YOUR DAY IS COMIN'! -- ANYWAY, BECAUSE OF THAT, I DON'T GET UP TO ANSWER IT --

But when my cell phone gives me the signal that I do actually have a voicemail, I figure I'd best drag my aged to imperfection self out of the bed and come out and see --

-- I'm - stunned.  A doctor - a doctor who has never, ever seen me f2f - based on the nurse's notes - thinks I need to drive myself 16 miles one way to the ER and request a cat scan and bloodwork because he said so.  -- And you say - what is this, now?! (incredulously-voiced, eyebrows raised, ? eyes) -- BECAUSE -- were this Donna who knows me and who has literally examined me inside and out -- honey, I wouldn't even be typing!  I'd actually be in the emergency room!  

As the old primal-scream rock song says, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU YOU YOU whoareyouwhoare  ... if you can't even see my body in person, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL ME TO TAKE MY BODY TO SOMEONE ELSE I DON'T KNOW?!  Yeahhh, I'm ready to take my body, alright -- back to NJ, to some previous doctors I had -- or would another state I used to live in be closer?  yeahhh but in NJ at least I could visit people .... sad, sad, sad, mad, bad old world it is, and I'm just sick and frustrated enough, I may even do just THAT!

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