This is something that just spilled out of my pen just now ... I want to preface this by saying what I wrote @ the bottom : This is me. This is my constant depression and self-anger. If I could afford my medication, it would make me less irritable - more focused - maybe more able to complete tasks - but the sadness & overwhelming longing for my past, to relive RIGHTLY, would still be present.
I want to banish all the dark
all the regrets -- all the dammed blown
opportunities!
-- Instead --
I want to be a lovely young woman
in perhaps that sleeveless lace dress w/ sandals
with parents and a home and good grades!
living squarely
with the whole future, all of life, in
front of me
I want to round that corner
back
and recreate my life - no
live my life
the way it should have! been lived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
